I’ll Be Happy – When ………
Can you hear yourself saying “I’ll be happy when..” this week is over; I’m finished with this project; I make $x amount of money, etc.”? What about others around you? What do you hear them say along the lines of I’ll be happy when…? Think for a minute what that means or implies. I read it as meaning there is no happiness in your life and there can’t be any happiness until you have reached this particular goal. Is that what you mean? It keeps happiness in the future for you. Even though you may not mean it your subconscious is hearing it and believing it. You may even be self-sabotaging yourself in the process! Your subconscious attends to what you say but it cannot make distinctions between something said in jest and what you really meant.
That said, you are really talking about goals, aren’t you? When was the last time you took a look at your goals? Did you know that only 3% of people in the United States actually write down goals for themselves? Are you a 3%er? Chances are very good that you are not. What would it take to get you to write down your goals? Research shows that people who do write down their goals are more likely to achieve them. They have a target, they know exactly what it looks like, they have a time line and an action plan on how they are going to get to their success. They are on their way!
That brings up an interesting question. What is success? How do you, personally, define success? How do you measure your success? These are not rhetorical questions. They are real and seemingly profound since very few people seem to address them much less commit the answers to paper. OK, maybe you really don’t have to write them down but you should be able to recognize that you have made it when you have a success. It may sound funny but many people don’t recognize success. They get to a point and then raise the bar higher. Some never find success because they have not defined it nor identified what it looks and feels like. This is one reason why some folks don’t enjoy their work. They never stop to smell the flowers by looking back at what they have achieved and take the time to celebrate. Hence, they are always is a striving mode.
How about you? Where are you regarding goals, how can you measure yours and celebrate the accomplishments you have already made? You know, in our society you have to decide how to celebrate – nobody else will unless it is a huge, public thing. We are a society that values personal effort and expects individuals to succeed on their own.
As that is the case, it is up to you to clearly identify your goals by fleshing them out so that you can hear, taste, smell and feel what it will be like when you get there. Then you have to figure out the steps you will take, the obstacles that might get in the way, contingency plans, measurement metrics, etc. You have to decide how you will celebrate you successes. It sounds overwhelming when laid out this way but when you think about it, it’s not as overwhelming as just diving in to something new with no direction at all.
For those of you who would rather not try this on your own, a talented, well-trained coach can help. Once you learn a good process you will be good to go on your own.
Lynn Banis PhD, MCC, BCC is known as America’s High Performance Coach.